Only Thoughts, Self, and Lyme: When Words Lose Their Power to Motivate and Inspire
Existence Can Not Be Without Granting the Power to Change Itself
You have chronic Lyme disease, or at least so you think, or you really just don’t care anymore at this point. The condition has been your presence for far too long and any chance or opportunity to move forward has long since been gone. How do you, as a human being with Lyme -- that still lives and breathes, with a heartbeat -- find any hope in an existence you’ve concluded is entirely hopeless?
When all that you have left is the stagnant existence between living and dying, with neither you can do. Waiting for something or nothing at all -- you’re unsure of what’s to come -- and words and texts of others, including this article, no longer provide the powerful motivation and inspiration that they inherently used to.
Turning Inward and Staying Away from the World
When everything externally has failed you; when everything outside of you no longer cares, nor works to your benefit, you naturally turn inward. One of the worst parts of having chronic Lyme disease can be moving into the darkness, for which no lifeline seems applicable to save you. Maybe you’ve spent some time wondering why you can no longer acquire and accept motivation or inspiration to find another way to healing by the words of others. Maybe you’ve concluded some reasons that make sense to you, but you’ve also reasoned that these reasons would never make sense to others, so why bother wasting the time to contemplate further into it. What do you have left?
Even when you feel, or don’t feel, that you have anything left at all, in any form, that could save you, you’re dead wrong. Because when such a thought enters the mind, it’s important to realize that this process itself is what, and may be all, that you have left -- and all that you need: thought. All ties to external stimuli have been severed, and within you as a person exists your physical self, your thoughts, and the unwelcome, Lyme.
While there is much talk of amicably approaching Lyme’s presence within the body in order to better one’s self, it’s still a hurtful stranger nonetheless. So while you may feel alone with Lyme, you’re not. Accompanying you until the end of everything you do in life are your thoughts, the most powerful motivation any human can possess. And not only do you not just possess any thoughts, these thoughts are backed and supported by a brain capable of high emotional and rational intelligence, when it’s given the chance. So for now, it’s you, your thoughts, and Lyme.
Convince Yourself to Change, in Time
When any human being goes through a traumatic event, it can take some time for the right time to come along and be the time that allows you to stand up and face the darkness. And even though Lyme’s unusually traumatic and dismantling presence is nothing but chronic, there will be plenty of chances -- maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, and maybe not next week -- where your brain will turn on a light of hope and give your thoughts the chance they need to pick you up and move your forward just a little bit.
When the time is right, you’ll find the drive and motivation to change your situation. The change may and can be acceptably small, but change is change. Don’t feel the pressure of others, though you probably can’t anymore. You be the pressure you apply to yourself when you’re ready. You have control of when it’s administered and how much you will apply. And if you’re not ready to make a little change, it’s okay -- that time will come and you’ll know. Just don’t put an excessive pressure on yourself when you’re not ready, as you’ll only confront it with resentment and put yourself down even more, if it’s possible to do so.
Find the Happiness in the Small Changes
One has to wonder if there is a cure or remedy for your specific condition of chronic Lyme disease. There are so many physicians claiming to be able to help, so much money to be spent, and nothing but time to dedicate. It’s all so confusing, after being through the runaround time and time again, and beyond easy to fall into a terminal acceptance for your conditional state. It’s good for the mind to create and feel acceptance, even after years of having chronic Lyme disease, but don’t close the door entirely.
Acceptance of this condition allows you to move forward in facing the reality of the condition. It’s the best way to focus and prepare the mind, during any time period of having chronic Lyme, for the next step -- even if you can’t see it. In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
And while you’re taking that first step, knowing that you can’t see the staircase for which you’re upon, better your mind even more by making an effort to look for and indulge in the smallest of happiness you find along the way. Think of the people who are still in your life and care about you the most, even though they probably haven’t been much help as of late, or even for a while, though they desperately which they could be.
If you’re alone, think of yourself and what that constitutes and should mean to you. You have a heart that continues to beat -- it may flutter and leave you freaked out on occasion -- but it continues to beat no matter the plight or roadblock you find. Think of your immune system in a compassionate manner, for that it’s trying its best in light of a dark, difficult, and seemingly impossible task. Think of your lungs, taking in the same air you’ve been breathing since birth, and will breath for time to come. Work with your brain in developing a solution with reason, in time, but also tell the emotional department “it’s okay”, and that we will move beyond this in time.
And lastly, think of what you are at your core - an impressive feat of biological engineering that exists. Your body is plenty capable of the accomplishments you’ve yearned and dreamed of since the hurt and debilitation started. Give it the chance when it calls for it. The odds of the Universe are such that not existing could very well be, but for you, this isn’t the case.
Find happiness in these inherent truths, and better yet, do so on a day when your brain has turned on the light. When it comes to finding your self and way in the face of chronic Lyme disease, be nothing more than what you can offer, but always be what you can. When truth is lost, open the door and shine the light to bring it home. You are not only the pain and frustration you feel, you are the hope and chance you need to find a way in time. Let the hurt run its course, and take this one on the chin, but existence can not be without granting the power to change itself, for better, for you.
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