I can't believe it's been over 2 months since my last blog post. It's the longest I've gone without writing one; which could be a good thing!
On the 15th of December, which is in 9 days, I will have been on the Buhner protocol for exactly 4 months. Is it working? Yes.
Before I started the Buhner protocol, I was skeptical when I read a review on it in which a person claimed that in just a few weeks, many of their symptoms have dissipated. Another claim was that in just 6 months, all of their symptoms were gone! It just seemed too good to be true and that if it really was as great as it was being proclaimed, why didn't I know about it all along? Why was it not constantly plastered in my face? How come I've never seen vast numbers of raves about it on online forums? Because that's the stark reality of Lyme Disease.
Yesterday I rode my bike. As I've been feeling better, I find myself riding more often. The beautiful weather is nothing but enticing.
The bike ride itself served as a catalyst for a profound revelation and interesting discovery. While on route, I happened to pass plenty of vegetation. It just so happens though that I directed my attention towards it for a moment and was amazed to discover a familiar comrade. Teasel Root.
For those not familiar with Teasel Root, it is a biennial herb that is commonly used in Lyme Disease protocols to entice the bacteria to enter the blood stream, also known as the battlefield. This is precisely the reason I've incorporated Teasel Root into my protocol. It's the first time I've ever seen the herb in its prime and this could explain my sheer excitement.
The Teasel Root is just one half of this profound revelation. As I continued my bike ride, I encountered a grassy trail that lead into a forest. Leaving familiar territory for the unknown? Sure! It was all clear that in the words of Robert Frost, "I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
Things have been very strange as of recently.
My brain fog has been prominent but it hasn't been at the level of intensity and debilitation it provided me with in the beginning of treatment. Also my memory has been improving drastically.
I'm in no way implying that I am completely healed or in remission from Lyme Disease but there isn't a doubt in my mind that the protocol I have been on for the past 7 months has been healing me at the fastest rate possible.
On the 16th, I had my birthday and turned 24 years of age. Even though the birthday wishes felt to me as an obligatory custom, they did reprise a sense of belonging. That a life still exists for me and it's waiting for my return.
Yesterday I had visited my N.D. (Naturopathic Doctor) for the first time in a few months and updated her on my status. I told her I was progressively getting better. I knew that my experience would benefit her own education.
I told her that my worst symptom, be it neither physical nor mental, was in fact spiritual. It was a lack of passion and an inability to embrace the beautifully simple experiences in life.
I told her that if I were to sit on a porch and simply gaze into the setting of the sun, I could not embrace that moment or reap its soulfully lifting properties. I had become numb. It is as if a fog obstructs the absorption.
We also discussed my protocol and what direction I would take with it.
I am learning to reappreciate life
I've always had an affinity for life but I appreciate it through a new perspective now
Lyme Disease is no thief. It is a gift that only you can see through healing eyes
I use to wonder how such an entity could be so cruel
How something could tear you down to nothing
How everything you've ever known, could vanish
Then I realized I was looking in the wrong direction
Whether I accepted or understood it at all, I had a new normal to attend to.
I am learning to let go of what I have for so long wished to reemerge
I am learning to recreate another past that I will one day yearn for much like I have before
I am accepting the indefinite and embracing the continuum
Lyme Disease is a gift
It is a life changing experience
What many are trying to search for, I have been given
I am forever grateful to have been given the chance to understand the capabilities of my own being
There are experiences that will happen in our life that are beyond our control
We must learn to accept and embrace them
We must let go of what no longer exists
Though my healing is not complete, I am spawning a mind that contemplates what is surely to come
In time, this will all be a memory
Even Lyme Disease use to not exist in my life much like what will come after it
And as what will come after Lyme Disease will one day be my existence, like I, Lyme Disease will carry on..
Yesterday was pretty bad. I had reached a point, like I have many times before, where I contemplated my existence and purpose.
No thoughts of suicide or anything like that but I can totallyunderstand how Lyme could drive someone to it.
I will never blame someone for trying to end their suffering.
Unexpectedly, today turned out to be a really good day.
I checked the mail and had received a Christmas card from my best guy friend whom I have known since Middle School
He knows what I'm going through and gives me my space but the fact that he reached out to me with words of concern for my health in the card stopped me in my tracks.
After a while you start to question your friends faithfulness and usually the answers you conjure up are wrong.
I then went out and got my hair cut, which I had not done in 6 months or for those who know, since my band broke up.
Great morale booster.
While waiting for my haircut, I carried on a conversion with an elderly woman who wanted me to help her test her hearing aid. That alone was worth the trip.
Since I was feeling pretty good, I then decided to grab some more young coconuts at Whole Foods to make some more coconut yogurt.
At Whole Foods I ended up running in to a friend who is also an employee and he asked how things were going.
I haven't told too many people of my diagnosis but I ended up telling my him.
He totally understood and had mentioned that a girl in my graduating class from high school 2006, also had it.
I never talked to the girl but I knew of her and in a sense felt compelled to reach out to her.
My friend has also asked how my band was doing and I told him that we disbanded. I think he already knew but I don't see him that often so we forget what we talk about previously.
Anyways, he had mentioned that he recently picked up the drums and wanted to jam with me tomorrow.
I haven't played with anyone in quite sometime but I told him I would surely be there if I was feeling up too it.
How quickly we create a purpose for ourselves despite being led to question our own existence.
Welcome To My Blog!
The LyBlog will focus on my personal battle with chronic Lyme disease,