Progress Report, Diet, and Human Significance

I can't believe it's been over 2 months since my last blog post.  It's the longest I've gone without writing one; which could be a good thing!

On the 15th of December, which is in 9 days, I will have been on the Buhner protocol for exactly 4 months.  Is it working?  Yes.

Before I started the Buhner protocol, I was skeptical when I read a review on it in which a person claimed that in just a few weeks, many of their symptoms have dissipated.  Another claim was that in just 6 months, all of their symptoms were gone!  It just seemed too good to be true and that if it really was as great as it was being proclaimed, why didn't I know about it all along? Why was it not constantly plastered in my face?  How come I've never seen vast numbers of raves about it on online forums? Because that's the stark reality of Lyme Disease.  

When it comes to healing your body, you're on your own.  No person is going to hand you on a silver platter a method for eradicating your Lyme Disease.  You have to be intelligent enough to put yourself on the course that is right for you.  Other wise your body will continue to deteriorate, the Lyme Disease will become more oppressive, and eventually you may die from its effects.  That's the cold, hard truth of Lyme Disease and the perspective of Lyme Disease by society.  It's natural selection.  The weak die off.

So back to my progress report.  Yes, so it's been almost 4 months since I've been on the Buhner protocol.  Can I claim that most of my symptoms have dissipated like the person in the review of Buhner's book?  Sure!  Do I believe that in 6 months all of my symptoms will be completely gone?  No.  But do I believe that in roughly 8-12 months my symptoms will be completely gone?  It seems plausible but there is no way I could ever know now in the present.  I can only make a prediction based on the current information of my progress that I have available to me immediately.

The information that I'd use to make such a prediction would obviously be my symptoms.  How are my symptoms?  They're fading, slowly but surely.  My ability to recall words in a conversation and memory is noticeably better!  A lot of my joint pain has ceased.  So they're are obvious changes in my symptoms that I notice but what am I doing now that I wasn't performing 4 months ago?  Well I'm working more, I've recently decided I would collaborate on music with a band member once more, and I've even started exercising again.

Don't be fooled though!  I am approaching all of these reintroductions very cautiously and slowly.  I understand my body is still ailing and healing and that a large portion of my energy must be distributed towards healing as well.

Diet

Everyone knows that in order to overcome Lyme Disease in a reasonable manner, a diet deficient of gluten, dairy, and sugar is an imperative.  The truth is that I have eaten dairy along the way but it was raw.  I have consumed zero gluten since before starting my initial protocol, the one before Buhner's.  I have eaten sugar but it's so ambiguous its not even funny.  

Here is my wisdom on consuming sugar with Lyme Disease (this is not medical advice).  I eat fruit and we all know fruit has sugar in it.  We also know that fruit has a great amount of nutrients in it that the human body craves; especially when it's trying to heal.  I happen to be progressing very well with my protocol while consuming a reasonable amount of fruit for my circumstances.  The sugar that I believe is frowned upon by the Lyme Disease community is the sugar that is man made.  Sugar that has been processed.  Sugar that the human body wasn't designed to digest.

I think we can agree that when it comes to sugar, we feel much better in consuming a granny smith apple as opposed to a venti vanilla frappuccino.  Apples are found in nature.  Frappuccino's are not.  This is a rule of thumb I tend to live by when it comes to "avoiding sugar".

There are people that continue to consume a poor diet when battling Lyme Disease and wonder time and time again why they're not healing.  We could easily point to the diet for that person's inability to heal but we have enough reason to point to their protocol as well.  So what do we do to figure out which factor is the culprit?  It's easy.  We exploit what is in our absolute control.  Diet.  Diet is what is in our absolute control.  We may never know for sure if a protocol is or will be effective enough to put our Lyme Disease in remission.  But at least if we religiously adhere to a strict diet deficient of gluten, dairy, and sugar, we can logically rule out the diet as the cause for our stagnant state of debilitation.  Then we know it's the protocol that's failing us.

If you're eating whatever you please while on a treatment protocol, and 5 months later you're feeling just as horrible as when you started, you won't know if it was because of your diet or your treatment protocol.

Christmas is approaching but I feel nothing

I know I'm not alone in this mentality.  Christmas is coming and for the first time, I really could care less.  I have no desire or passion for the holiday like i used to.  In fact, my loathing is so severe, that if I were to avoid acquiring a Christmas tree this year, well that would be alright with me.

And it has nothing to do with being bitter towards a joyous, highly commercialized and empty, materialistic holiday.  I enjoy dedicating time on the calendar specifically towards being merry to others.  But I just can't.  My Lyme Disease continues to affect my brain in such a manner that I feel as though I'm just floating through life.  I'm numb.  I can't express any emotions or connect myself to anything in my life.  I feel estranged from all of the treasures of life that used to make me feel so grand.

There will be the people that don't have Lyme Disease that will continue to play their role in the beast that is Christmas.  As would be expected, I will somehow be dragged into the equation and unwillingly be forced to participate.  Even if the participation is as small as returning the words "Merry Christmas" to a fellow member of my species; but it won't mean anything to me.  I will return the words though because I know it means something to the person who initiated the greeting.  I may have Lyme Disease but I don't need to be selfish or transpose my inability to feel into another person's assurance for cynicism of the human race.

The ignored struggle

Once the holidays are over, I will continue on with my battle against Lyme Disease just as everyone else will.  I'll continue to push until I reach remission.  Why?  Because fundamentally I enjoy life.  Sure life has some of the most treacherous and horrid events but there are many treasures of life that easily over shadow the bad times.

I understand that I am not truly significant in the grand scheme of existence.  Having accepted this fact, I'm not bitter towards my acquisition of Lyme Disease.  I am just another biological organism that is just as vulnerable to infection as any other species I share this planet with.

That's not to say that I as a human being cannot being significant to another human because I can and I am.  There is no denying this truth but this type of significance exists only in the human mind.  This abstract significance has no vital role in the universe or the greater significance of existence.  The truth is that the human race could be completely wiped out or extinct and the universe would carry on without noticing.  That's the greater significance I'm referring to that doesn't include us.

But for now in the present, all we know is that we as human beings are the definition of life.  Many of us treasure it because it's beautiful.  It's the only thing we all have in common that we've all experienced, Lyme Disease or not.  But those with Lyme Disease share a unique feeling of will.  The will to resist an infection that could easily take a life.  We've learned that it's not an easy task to sustain life.  How easy would it be to just let go?  It would be very easy but a respectable amount refuse to do just that.  This respectable amount of people includes you!

We may not have the cure to our constant ailing state but we do know that we'd rather not exist in its wrath any longer than necessary.  We know that we would love to exist without any type of bacterial influence on our physical or mental components.  We know that we want to feel and be alive again.  We don't want to suffer day in and day out or night after night after night as it's just so hard on the human psyche.  It's an incredibly unappealing state to live through and I believe it's the impetus for our extreme desire to heal.

I bought Richie Sambora's solo album recently and I found this song to be one worth sharing.  For those who don't know, Richie Sambora is the guitarist for Bon Jovi.